


-and nobody trusts me

by cuneifire



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Character Study, Dreams, Multi, of a sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 12:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15340320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuneifire/pseuds/cuneifire
Summary: Light has an opportunity. He turns it down.





	-and nobody trusts me

It occurs once; possibly in his dreams. Which is an unfortunate place for it to happen, really.

                When Light shuts his eyes, he is used to seeing a certain spectrum of things on which his night will fall. There is victory, there is sweet success, there is standing atop a throne of wrongdoers and holding a scale in his hands to weigh their wicked heads and watch them roll. There is also failure, nightmares, and an innate sense of something in his mouth that tastes like bile and curdled milk and says that perhaps he is no different than those he judges.

But there are certain things Light does not see in his dreams, period. This is one of them.

It’s a perfect day. The light is beautiful and bright if a bit watery, like the whole scene was simply a watercolour painting from European days after Christ. Unsteady, as if the dock he’s standing upon could be lapped up by foreign waves at any minute.

So he steps off it, turning past slowly clearing mist. Slowly, as if his motions had been paused and rewound over and over until they concocted a feeling similar to being in a videotape.

On the cut-off bank of the lake, there is a picnic. Perfect wicker basket with a checkered red and white tablecloth, spread out over green dewy grass with impeccable taste. Aesthetic.

                Bread, butter, cheese and ham. Apples lay out. More apples than there were bread nor butter nor ham.

He feels his vision tilt with a grin.

                There, L is laughing at him. Standing behind the picnic, lips skewed with mirth, hand open. There’s a weigh in Light’s chest when he looks at him, usually so slouched and unenthusiastic, but here he’s smiling, almost like real people do.

Light can feel something shake as he steps forwards. There’s no words, nothing, really, just the dull thrum of water against the shore. There’s no one else on the shore, despite the beautiful weather.

L’s hand is outstretched to him, dark hair falling over his eyes as he looks up at Light. Light reads the look; well but perhaps superficially, as he does in real life.

_Take my hand,_ he’s saying, without words, or course. _Maybe we could be like real people are._

It’s absurd, L would never say that. But his subconscious has construed him as such. Light wonders why.

He throat seems to constrict with the thought, so he shoves it aside. No point. It will do no good, no justice.

Light knows that if something is in the way of your goals, then there’s no point in keeping them.

So he walks straight through L’s outstretched hand, feels cold air press against his skin as the hallucination dissolves into scattered pieces like a ghost; a secret here, a whisper there, a flash of what could’ve been lost by the wayside.

                Light was given a deal with the devil, and like any other man with brains, he learned humans were much too manipulative, too cruel, and dealt with death instead.


End file.
